TOXIC

Often now I wonder
What the hell am I to do
Weighing the pros and the cons
Of a final break from you
We don't talk about it
Fear of finding out, I fear
But if we sit on our hands
This upset won't disappear

Like smoke like soot like DDT
Like sludge like smog like mercury
Like methane methanol monoxide
Phenol and fermaldehyde
Like greenhouse gas and acid rain
And things you use to clear out the drain
Like chromium dust and carbon mist
Asbestos lead and benzene
This relationship is toxic

You've a boundary problem
You can't keep to yourself
And I've got a heart with a history
Of breaking up my health
You like heavy metal
Me I'm partial to my thrash
You are the sun and I am the moon
Sometimes we crash

Like smoke like soot like DDT
Like sludge like smog like mercury
Like methane methanol monoxide
Phenol and fermaldehyde
Like greenhouse gas and acid rain
And things you use to clear the drain
Like car exhaust and crankcase oil
Landfills with contaminated soil
Chromium dust and carbon mist
Asbestos lead and benzene
This relationship is toxic

Living in dysfunction
We can't know its full effect
Don't have a clue what the years
Of exposing ourselves will do
Should we stop production?
Grind the brakes to a halt?
Or should we wait till the sirens go off
And it's too late

Like smoke like soot like DDT etc.

So we're in denial
Least we both can drink to this
So I'll pour the wine very fine
But the cork got stuck
My luck
Leaping 'cross the chasm
Say goodbye to what we know
Joined at the hip
So if one of us chickens out
We'll slip

Like smoke like soot like DDT
Like sludge like smog like mercury
Like mustard gas and Agent Orange
You had enough? Let's name some more
Like antifreeze and insect spray
Diesel fuel hey don't forget nuclear waste
Nail polish paint and dye
Turpentine mothballs and lye
Like gasoline and chlorine bleach
The glowing shit that washed up on the beach
Like PCBs and CFC
And all the letters A to Z
This relationship is toxic

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

ON THE WAY TO HIS WEDDING

He woke up late in quite a state
His head was sore from too many vodkas
A lousy way to start the day
On the way to his wedding

He sliced his face, he cut his chin
The blood it flowed within and without him
Out on the ledge, the razor's edge
On the way to his wedding

He wants a service with a smile
Some contemplation for a while
But now he's trippin' up the aisle
On the way to his wedding

He blew his horn, he blew his top
He gave the bird to somebody's grandma
To make it worse, he screamed and cursed
All the way to his wedding

The market crashed, the sky turned black
A civil war broke out in Nevada
He didn't care, he wasn't there

The flashing lights, the siren's wail
The officer was not sympathetic
Doin' eighty-five, you could've died
On the way to your wedding

Arriving there to his despair
He came to find no bride waiting for him
Their signals crossed, his love was lost
On the way to his wedding

He wonders how this came to be
It's a shame he couldn't see
The effervescent irony
On the way to his wedding

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

NOTHING BETTER

I swam the seven seas
Nothing is better than love
Got rug burns on my knees
There's nothing better than love
I've tasted Haagen Dazs
Nothing is better than love
Seen angels in their bras
There's nothing better than love

And if you tune into a natural E
You'll find the brightest and most heavenly key
Yeah it's truly quite a spectacle
Magically chemical

I've travelled space and time
Nothing is better than love
Left all those days behind
There's nothing better than love
To swallow jagged pills
Nothing is better than love
For common household ills
There's nothing better than love

And if we surried down to Pablo Fanques' Fair
And Wes and Bird and Trane were gigging up there
Caressing All The Things You Are
Stop the presses
Stop the car

I'm not saying love is all that you need
You've got bills to pay and stomachs to feed
Yeah you're sayin' he's so out of it
Knee deep up in hippie shit

To lay that burden down
Nothing is better than love
This simple truth I've found
There's nothing better than love
And when the day is done
Nothing is better than love
I'm sticking to my guns
There's nothing better than love

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

SHE'S A SINGER

She's a singer
She's a singer she's a screamer she's a shouter
She's a wailer
She's a looker
She's a feeler she's a dancer she's a model
She's a juggler
She's a winner
She's a lover she's a fighter she's a stranger
She's a good friend

She's a teacher
She's a student she's a hacker she's an expert
She's an egghead
She's an ocean
She's a river she's a forest she's a gypsy
She's a nomad
She's a caution
She's a panic she's a house of fire
A jalapeno pepper

She's an icon
She's a beacon she's a magnet she's a compass
She's the North Star
She's a rumor
She's a concept she's a package she's a present
She's the future
She's a puzzle
She's a riddle she's the answer
She's a reason to wake up in the morning

She's a singer

Well he worked long and hard
And minded all his manners
Till a soldier boy he'd be
So when Cupid's arrow struck him
Straight in the marrow
Well he got down on his knees
And he was so enamored
That he shook and stammered
Pretty nothings for his sweet
But he popped the question
And she answered yes
And then his life was so complete

'Cos she's a singer
She's a talker she's a drummer she's an artist
She's an actress
She's a woman
She's a baby she's an angel she's a pauper
She's a princess
She's a singer
She's a singer
She's a singer
She's a singer

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

BABY ON HER MIND

There's a change coming slowly
Coming slowly like a continental drift
Last night we had ourselves an earthquake
A little tiff
Now I would never ever leave her
She's the only one for me
But something's wrecked our joie de vivre
It's plain to see

She's got baby on her mind
And she's looking to me for sympathy
She's got baby on her mind

Done the work of a detective
Got all the evidence I keep it to myself
Now when she looks into my eyes
I know she's seeing someone else
And if she feels the clock is ticking
I hear it ringing an alarm
I can't admit I'm kinda jealous
But there you are

She's got baby on her mind
And I don't wanna be in second place
She's got baby on her mind
I've come to find
She's got baby on her mind
And she hasn't told me to my face
She's got baby on her mind
All the time

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

ALL HACKED OFF (AN AGONY IN THREE FITS)

My girl was up this morning banging pots and pans
I think she's mad
You are a moody irksome fellow in the head
Her actions said
I banged my fist upon the floor
To ask her please could we make peace
She dropped the dishes in the sink
With such a force it made me sneeze
I'm all hacked off
I'm all hacked off
She's all hacked off
We're all hacked off

I tried to change the mood
By putting on some music way up loud
I heard her voice above the din
I guess she felt like joining in
I said your minor seventh monotones
Are cutting edge at best
I can't relay the slew of vitriolic words
That happened next
I'm all hacked off
I'm all hacked off
She's all hacked off
We're all hacked off

And maybe later we could call a truce
Relax and have a glass of grapefruit juice
The neighbors might be home for all we know
They're watching us kicking and a-clawing
In a stick-man show

I took a risk and oh so passionately kissed her
On the chin
She said your timing is god-awful
That's the way it's always been
I felt the sting and cried out
If that's true I'll pack my things and go
She looked at me impatiently with big brown eyes
And she said no
I'm all hacked off
I'm all hacked off
She's all hacked off
We're all hacked off

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

THINGS CHANGE

Danger danger warning
Things change
Look out the Scotch is talking
Somewhere down the road
You'll remember what I said
And you'll thank me and curse me
For planting this seed in your head
Things change
You may be happy now
You may be you
I may be me
But things change
Things change

Let me tell you
Please let me tell you
The only thing that doesn't change
Is change
That's what they say
And three hundred milllion Buddhists can't be wrong
The chills the spills
Potholes in the pavement
A mile wide
A bumpy ride
Can you steer can you veer
Can you navigate through the fear
I'm telling you now
I'm telling you now
I'm telling you once
I'm telling you twice
Things change
Things change

There are old pilots
There are bold pilots
But there are no old bold pilots
You may be smart
You may be wise
You may have eagle's eyes
But things change
A slender thread
A slander thread
It grieves me so to see you this way
I was once like you
But things change
Things change
Things change

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

LITTLE THING CALLED TRUST

He spent the night with you
He stayed the whole night through
It was just the two of you
In a posh hotel
First I started wondering
Then I got to pondering
Now my head is simmering
Darling I'm in hell

'Cos you're asking me to believe the impossible
Telling me to believe the impossible
Asking me to believe the impossible
I don't know if that's possible

Little thing called trust
Could be what I need
'Cos I hurt and I bleed
All torn up inside
Call a policeman 'cos my life just died

He was moving very close
He was burning holes in your clothes
Google eyes
His hand on your thighs
And you ate it up
Now I would never want to control you
Never ever try to control you
Shape you mold you
Lecture and scold you
I just want to hold you

Little thing called trust
Where do I get me some
'Cos I'm number than numb
I need some help
I can't think about nothing else

My heart skipped a beat
The day I thought it through
Can't stand the thought of him
Lyin' there with you
Know how it feels
Good God
I've been burned before
They put me in the ward

Love can be so dissonant
He moved into your apartment
He isn't even paying rent
What the hell is that?
If you tell me that it's so
You're in love with me and no one else
Then that's all I need to know
All the live-long day

Little thing called trust
It's the smaller details
That make me chew my nails
Keep me awake at night
Make everything alright
A little thing called trust
A little thing called trust
Everybody must have a little thing called trust

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

AS YOU LAY SNORING NEXT TO ME

The moonlight shone upon the window
The wind it whispered to the trees
I pulled the blankets back to hold you
As you lay snoring next to me

Your face was radiant like a child's
I stroked your hair so tenderly
I felt the magic of the moment
As you lay snoring next to me

And I was wrong again
The same old dance and song again
It won't be long and then
Into your arms I'll crawl

I kissed your lips, I held your hand
I felt transported to another land
I poured my heart out endlessly
As you lay snoring next to me

And we're on ice again
They're givin' us advice again
I'll answer twice and then
Into your arms I'll crawl

And all the crickets decrescendoed
The world it stopped just for a beat
'Twas then I told you that I loved you
As you lay snoring next to me

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

DISNEY EYES

Hey Jack you can't go back
Life just keeps on rollin' forward fast
Hands down you'll never win
Cryin' time is starting to begin
I was Hades way back then
I feel much better
Locked into a tragic role
A sad song singer
A dark night of the soul
My temples burning
Yearning till she looked at me with Disney eyes
And I went wild
She looked at me with Disney eyes
And I just died

Batten down the hatches men
Here we go into the deep again
Just when you think you're cool
Nature makes a fool of you and...
Dead to the world and there she is
With all her graces
Blood goes rushing to my head
And other places
This is the only way to fly I'm thinking
So divine she looked at me with Disney eyes
And I went wild
She looked at me with Disney eyes
And I just died

Lover I know that you understand
And the world grows right in the palm of your hand
Like the squirrels that fornicate in the yard
We're unembarred
Life ain't so hard

What do say when the words get too expensive?
What do you do when the music stops?
Where do you go when the sunny day's all dried out?
Clouds all cried out
Open wide she looked at me with Disney eyes
And I went wild
She looked at me with Disney eyes
And I just died

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

DAWDLING DAUGHTER

Mrs. Ross I can see you're cross
I'm so sorry I'm late for your son's guitar lesson
I won't lie 'cos the roads were fine
I was right on time with the best of intentions

But my dawdling daughter
Was gazing in the mirror
She wouldn't come down here
She's my dawdling daughter
She's looking for her shoes
Before the search is through
She's on to something new
So unconcerned with time

Dr. Cook I apologize for my alibis
Now you're fumin' and fussin'
We're all taught to obey the clock
And we go in shock when there's someone who doesn't

Like my dawdling daughter
She's getting dressed again
She's playing with her friends
Oh  my dawdling daughter
We're walking out the door
I'm calling her once more
She's gone off to explore the Southern Shore

My dawdling daughter
Was chasing dogs and cats
She's growing up so fast
She's my dawdling daughter
It's best to understand
That nothing goes as planned
She's in another land
Just like her dawdling dad

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

WHERE DID MY GIRLFRIEND GO?

Where did my girlfriend go?
She's somewhere outta here
I left just for a minute
I went to get some beer
I came back she was gone
I'm looking all around
And there's no sign of her
No sight no smell no sound

I'm asking everybody
I'm asking everyone
And all I want to know
Where did my girlfriend go?

Where did my girlfriend go?
Anxiety attack
I had to use the restroom
I said I'd be right back
I left all alone
And now the table's turned
I feel a little frosty
I feel a little burned

But now I cannot see her
She's somewhere else I fear
I'm looking high and low
Where did my girlfriend go?

I'm alone
So lost and alone
I'm all alone
And I don't like it

Is she with someone else?
Or is she all alone?
I need to bum a quarter
I have to use the phone
I'm calling Missing Persons
I'm calling 911
My heartbeat scares me so
Where did my girlfriend go?

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

PORCUPINE

Out here in the woods you can escape
The rush of city life
And all the things that make your body quake
But you can't escape yourself
And all your traits

Me I can't be loved don't even try
You better stay away
I'm not the nicest guy you'll ever meet
I got needles in my spine
Nobody wants to touch me
I'm a porcupine

One of Mother Nature's fine mistakes
Some were born to fall in love
And others die alone now that's the breaks
Me I come from a long line
Of porcupines

Wise men say get to know yourself
But I was happier
When I thought that I was somethin' else
Word is travelling through the vine
Nobody wants to hug me
I'm a porcupine

I can't get close to anyone
My skin won't let me
And the last thing I want to do is hurt somebody
So consequently

I'm alone a good deal of my life
And that's the way I like it
You've got to go for what you know
And so I've learned to keep from cryin'
Nobody wants to love me
I'm a porcupine

Your eyes have a weathered look I see
Maybe we could get along
You seem an awful lot like me
I'm at peace with my own kind
Let me introduce myself
I'm a porcupine

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

BIM BAM BOOM

Spoken as a gentle gibe
Givin' me a funny vibe
Each time she walks into the room
My heart goes bim bam boom
Feelin' like a lucky guy
Stimulated by her stimuli
My happiness begins to bloom
And my heart goes bim bam boom

Maybe I could be in show business
Wouldn't that be nice?
I could tell the world about all this
Ask for their advice
They'd tell me
Go ahead and ask her out
Hesitation you can do without
I open up my mouth too soon
And my heart goes bim bam boom

Maybe I could be in show business
Wouldn't that be nice?
I could tell the world about all this
Ask for their advice
They'd tell me won't you tell me
She was once a friend of mine
Now she is a different kind
I don't know how these things ensue
But I know for sure they do
So I'm lost until the time
Upon her body I can climb
Oh send the paramedics soon
'Cos my heart's goin' bim bam boom

And I tell you she destroys the gloom
And my heart goes bim bam boom

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

WHEN WE'RE OLD

People are scared of dyin'
People are scared of livin' too
Before I take a ride in that big black hearse
I wanna sit on the porch with you
And I can't wait to watch the years unfold
'Cos I'll be there beside you when we're old

How do we race at this crazy pace
Trying hard our sanity to keep
Rushing 'round till the sun goes down
And then we're too whacked out to sleep
Imagine when our story's all been told
And we'll look back on all this when we're old
The chilly autumn wind won't blow so cold
'Cos I'll be there beside you when we're old

When we're old we won't cry
We won't try to hide it
Stay outside
When we're old we'll be young
We'll be strong we'll be wise
We'll have fire in our eyes

Sing me a song about three years long
Give us some time to sit and stare
Grease my hair and find out where
They got a sale on rocking chairs
Put your fears and your hopes in my ears
That's how we'll spend our golden years
Shake my fist at those meddling kids
And cash in all our poker chips

We'll have our dimes and pennies neatly rolled
And life will be much better when we're old
The chilly autumn wind won't blow so cold
'Cos I'll be there beside you when we're old
Yes I'll be there beside you when we're old

C 1997 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)