selections from The Willies and Calm, Cool, Collected

Lyrics used by permission.  All rights reserved.

THE KEYS TO THE CAR

Walked outside, the street looked different
I swear everything had lost its wonderment
I felt alone, like no one was watching me
I felt distressed, the absence of harmony
I think it's time to make the break
I'm gonna pack my bags today
And get out while I'm young
If everything was certain then nothin' would get done
And I know that Fate doesn't smile on everyone
Sunny skies and rainbows, I see from afar
Won't somebody give me the keys to the car

I see them there, they're dangling in front of me
I wish to God they weren't making fun of me
It's such a shame, the story of my life
Always in two different places at one time
And so the books I read all make me feel
Like I'm missing out on something real
And I fear, I fear I'm not where I want to be
But I hope, something good's just ahead for me
Yonder the horizon, I know where you are
Won't somebody give me the keys to the car

You change your mind and you change the scenery
But I try, I try so hard that I just can't see
Seven hundred miles, the walk is too far
Won't somebody give me the keys to the car

C 1991 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I'M ALIVE

Woke up this morning I was feeling kinda bad
Her face was on my mind
Was it a fantasy or just a dream I had
Get 'em mixed up sometimes
But the girl I see doesn't look at me
With the same bright eyes
Well it's hard to tell
'Cos her head is turned in another direction

I been livin' in a fog for three weeks now
Can't fall asleep at night, how can I survive?
Nothing matters to me at this moment
'Cos she doesn't even know that I'm alive

I been conjurin' up ways of tryin' to talk to her
My life is on the line
My concentration isn't concentrating anymore
I'm spacin' all the time
But I gotta rehearse the words I first will say to her
Come on so demure
And my smooth interjections will win her affections

I been livin' in a fog for three weeks now
Can't fall asleep at night, how can I survive?
Nothing matters to me at this moment
'Cos she doesn't even know that I'm alive

So inspired but my plan backfired
She was cold as ice
It's not like I'm the only one
She says she's always abrasive when she's dealing with scum

C 1991 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP

Look look look before you leap
Check the water first so you're not headed in too deep
Caught between a hard place and a rock
(So take it slowly)
Don't let your feelings run amok
Yeah
Look look look before you leap
Weigh it out, make sure that it's a promise you can keep
It's alright to use your brain sometimes
(It never hurts to)
But too much thought can paralyze
Yeah

So this is what you wanted
All the world to kindly go away
And I'm so broken-hearted
I hate to be a told-you-so but I say
You've got to look look look before you leap
Realize the price to pay for bailing out is steep
He's got the whole world in His hands
(He's got the whole world)
Don't worry where your body lands
Yeah

So this is what you wanted
All the world to kindly go away
And I'm so broken-hearted
I hate to be a told-you-so but I say
You've got to look look look before you leap
Rest assured we've many miles to go before we sleep
Don't be so alarmed, you've still got time
(Here comes tomorrow)
If you decide to change your mind
Yeah
Look look look before you leap

C 1991 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

JENNY SAYS

Jenny says
That we gotta pay the rent by Sunday
Or they're gonna kick us out on Monday
Jenny says
That the bills are piling on the table
And I said we'll pay them off as soon as we are able
To buy some food
She asked is it bad and I said it's not so good

Jenny says
That I gotta change my occupation
'Cos it's only bringing us frustration
Money talks
If there's anybody there to listen
When I get a hold of some I'll find what I've been missin'
And I'll do my part
To live for a change 'cos I'm dying for my art

There was a time when life was kind
When we were young and dumb
Jenny was mine, the only one
Now it's a day in day out fight
To follow this dream I have
It's leading me down insanity's path

Jenny was making such a fuss
Concerning the two of us
She was tired of riding the bus
I tried to explain these things take time
That was before she cried
I hope she can hang along for the ride

Jenny says
That they turned the water off this morning
And they didn't give us any warning
C'est la vie
When you're living with a poor musician
Or anybody else who's got a unique vision
Sometimes I get depressed
Whenever I'm hearing the words that Jenny says

C 1991 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

SHRINKING VIOLET

She's my shrinking violet
Shrinking violet's feeling down
She's my shrinking violet
Never wants to come around

I never seen a girl so shy
Every single day I try
To get inside her mind
Even when I hold her tight
She's far away

That's why I say
She's my shrinking violet
She's afraid to leave the house
She's my shrinking violet
About as mean as a mouse

Never tell a soul give yourself away...

I threw out all her self-help books
Said you can get by, honey, on your looks
You'll be fine, I know
I'll stick with you till I drop
When she's with me
I feel just like a bear in honey
She's my shrinking violet

C 1991 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

I AM SLIME

I said that I would quit
And then I went and did it
Against the grain of my own good
She wasn't fazed at all
Said it did not surprise her
She laid a bet down that I would
What makes a person tick?
Could be that I am twisted
Or just a little sick
My head feels fine
Why does a man get weak?
I guess that I was tempted
Sometimes I think that I am slime

I'm quite a lowly type
In her own estimation
I screwed the whole thing up for sure
Because I didn't think
About the consequences
The damage it would do to her
Strung out, let down
Like a Beach Boy I get around
First chance, couldn't wait
Excuse me while I hyperventilate
And after all this time
Of penance and confession
Sometimes I think that I am slime

Well I could be the guy for you
Said I would die for you
Serenade you dear by candlelight
And I'm trying hard to be your knight in shining armor
But sometimes I think that I am slime

They say man came from mud
Well who am I to argue
These guys get paid to do their job
But I am more concerned
With where this man is going
Because I've known me all my life
So cross-examining
I am the judge and jury
Is there a cosmic law that says I should feel guilty
If I'm a criminal
Let's get the whole thing over
Someone convict me of my crime

Well I try to be strong for you
I wrote this song for you
Just a way to ease my worried mind
And I've got the courage to admit I'm only human
But sometimes I think that I am slime

I could be the guy for you
Said I would die for you
Hang around until the end of time
But now I'm calling out for anyone to hear me
Sometimes I think that I am slime

C 1991 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

THE HUMAN CONDITION

People sinkin' with the weight of the world
It's the human condition
Boy is crying 'cos he can't get the girl
It's the human condition
How much do I have to take
Before I begin to break
Always searching for a will and a way
It's the human condition

Never happy with the things that I've got
It's the human condition
Always trying to be something that I'm not
It's the human condition
Tell me will I be okay
I can't stand another day
No instruction book, no guarantees in life
It's the human condition

Lump in my throat
Chill in my spine
Catching my breath
Say to myself
The Panic King has left his queen
He's coming back now

I can see it slipping out of my reach
Gotta make a tough decision
Should I quit or should I keep dragging on
It's the human condition
Always trying to be brave
From the cradle to the grave
That's the way the cards were dealt in my hand
It's the human condition

C 1992 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

CALM COOL COLLECTED

I had a meeting with the skullhead
I looked right where his eyes would be
We stared each other down for hours
And I won as far as I could see
Then a voice said 'Don't be disrespectful
Of things you do not understand'
I thought this advice was rather shallow
'Cos the voice, it didn't call me 'Sir'

Calm cool collected
Nothing major is expected
Turn the key and bolt the door
Calm cool collected
All bad feelings are rejected
Don't come around here anymore

I shook the maracas by the handle
I felt the beating on my drum
They said they call the wind Mariah
And I said 'I think that's really dumb'

Calm cool collected
Nothing major is expected
Turn the key and bolt the door
Calm cool collected
All bad feelings are rejected
Don't come around here anymore

They led me to a ring of fire
They hung a chain around my neck
I said 'If I am mistaken
You guys are plotting out my death
I feel I have a lot to offer
You'll miss my talents when I'm gone
But, hey, if that's the way you want it
Till then I'll keep on keeping on'

Calm cool collected
Nothing major is expected
Turn the key and bolt the door
Calm cool collected
All bad feelings are rejected
Don't come around here anymore

C 1992 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

THE WEDGE

(I know there's been huggin'
I know there's been kissin'
I came home tonight
And her toothbrush was missin')

She wants me out she wants me gone
She wants me bound
She wants her freedom or in other words
She don't want me around
The morning after I found out she'd been untrue
She made a list of all our things
Divided into two

Chorus:
She drove the wedge
She drove the wedge
That wedge that shattered us apart
She drove the wedge
She drove the wedge
She drove the wedge into my heart

I can't surmise how she designed to leave me flat
Picking petals off of daisies
Or some shit like that
Maybe a screw came loose and damaged her inside
I regret that I'm all wet
From all the tears I've cried

Repeat Chorus

Did you ever have to say
Things will probably be okay
If I can just get through the day
Take a breath and go with it
You'll live

Did you ever have to say
Things'll turn out A-OK
If I can just control my rage
Close your eyes and count to ten
Amen

And now I'm reeling from the thing she hit me with
And I implore am I deserving of treatment such as this
She's acting oh so debonaire
Like she don't care
Her lawyer calls to tell me son
I'll spit your bones out when I'm done

Repeat Chorus

Repeat Chorus Again

C 1992 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

GET OUT OF YOUR BLUE FUNK MR. KLUG

Get out of your blue funk Mr. Klug
There's too many things that you could be doin'
Running around in singles bars
Dreaming of flying up beneath the stars
What'd ya think? What'd ya find?
A temporary piece of mind

Get out of your blue funk Mr. Klug
This mental malaise will drive you to ruin
Your cluttered apartment is dirty and gross
All of your friends they think you're comatose
What d'ya want? What d'ya need?
To get you feelin' invigorated now

Look what you've done to all the good things in your life
You sucked all the blood out and you left them all to dry
Now it's a miracle
I want to make it right
But faith is an animal intangible

Get out of your blue funk Mr. Klug
It ain't even worth the food you been chewin'
Paying a fortune to Mastercard
Under the thumb of forces big and large
What'd ya feel? What'd see?
Acceptance is the only key
Get out

Look what you've done to all the good things in your life
You sucked all the blood out and you left them all to dry
Now it's a miracle
I want to make it right
I'm telling you

Get out of your blue funk Mr. Klug

C 1992 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

EVERYTHING GOES WITH GREY

Everywhere I go
People that I see are all the same
Wonder if they know
Power in a word, power in a brain
Looks like black and white are finished here
They're not the way
Put on your clothes and relax
Because everything goes with grey
Everything goes with grey

Doesn't matter if you're feeling blue
Doesn't matter if you're seeing red
You might be green with envy or yellow-bellied
Orange you feelin' bad?
I bring the weather with me everywhere
A cloudy day
Makes me begin to fit in
Because everything goes with grey
Everything goes with grey

The lines aren't all drawn out anymore
The path is hard to find anymore
I don't know why I try anymore
Except to avoid dismay
Because everything goes with grey
Everything goes with grey

C 1992 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)

SISTER MARY ALOYSIUS

Sister Mary Aloysius
With God at your side and a great big switch
You are powerful
Sister Mary Aloysius
Just the mention of your name
Can make my skin stand up at attention
Do you remember mine
Or was I just a number in a long long line

Sister Mary Aloysius
Used to say I was a product of Satan
Just because I wrote on the walls
Little boys can be mischievous
Why'd ya slap me when I laughed in church
I thought it was a celebration
Well what kind of party is that?
They go and treat you like a welcome mat

Now I'm a big man
I've got a mind of my own
And all the things that you taught me
Aren't helping me much now that I'm grown

Sister Mary Aloysius
Your point of view is very black and white
Just like your uniform
Say violence is physical rape
Unless it's used to whip a little kid in shape

Now I'm much older
And there's no turning back
I'm on a mission
I'm separating fiction from fact

Sister Mary Aloysius
I forgive you for all of your sins
Will you do the same for me?
Our Lady Of Perpetual Problems
I'm still carrying around the guilt
You instilled in me in the first grade
At least I'm letting it out
Gives me something to write about

C 1992 Mental Giant Music (ASCAP)